Bubble Gun Sugar
by Bradkaj
Summary: She is the sweetest, deadliest piece of candy you ever did see. She comes bouncing in like a nightmare and sounds as sweet like the cherry on top of a hot fudge Sunday. Its just a regular date night for the King and Queen of Gotham city. * I don't own the characters, this is just a piece of my imagination.


**Bubble Gun Sugar**

 **Mr. Willis' POV**

I sigh as I repeat myself, "Yes, Mildred. I will be home soon I promise. I am still at the office just finishing off a few things. No, I am alone."

Oh… Bless her heart but she sure knows how to nag a poor working stiff to death. A poor working stiff who is the CEO of a major company, Sundwall Co., here in the heart of Gotham. Therefore, poor I am not. Not in that sense anyway.

I hang up the phone and mutter, "Well I could have been done and on the way home with the time that I just spent on that call telling her over and over again that I am still indeed at the office and I just have some unfinished business."

The intercom on my phone buzzes, "What is it Patty?" Even my poor secretary was toughing out this night with me.

"There is a woman here claiming to have a message for you. Shall I send her in?"

I look at the clock—10pm?! Who would come calling at this hour?!

"Sure, send her in. Thank you, Patty."

Almost immediately after I gave the green light, my office door bursts open with a boom and smoke—instant heart failure— and through the puff of smoke, a very attractive woman comes bouncing in.

She is dancing, flipping and summer salting with her pig tails flying everywhere. Strange that one is pink, and the other is blue... And that smile… Big and sporting the reddest shade of lipstick that I have ever seen. She is also covered with tiny tattoos. Tattoos that are hearts and say 'Puddin''.

She is wearing this little porter hat on top of her head with white and red striped mini overalls with a white t-shirt underneath. Then it dawns on me that her skin is just as pale as his… He that is running rampant through the streets. The one that is shown on the news causing chaos all the time.

He is coming. That green haired monster is coming.

"For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow!" She sings at the top of her lungs and showing off all her impressive acrobatic skills without losing breath. Keeping her hat in place and on those white tied boot heels too. This woman is a manic.

"For he's a jolly good fellow! Which nobody can deny!" And it ended with her close to my face and the click of a cocked gun aimed at my head. She smelled of sickening, sweet, bubble gum which she pops in my face with one big bubble.

"HI' YA Mr. CEO! The name is Harley and I bring but a humble message from one of your admirers!" And with that looney toon smile she throws down a joker card on my desk.

 **Harley's POV**

I have him.

I have him pinned in that smart looking leather chair, worthy of any powerful and wealthy man. I mean… That's why I am here, right?

I had my specialized 357 magnum in my hand, shoving it right into his temple.

I let out a giggle.

I see a trickle of sweat coming from the Sundwall CEO's face. Pudgy old man. And to think, it was WAY too easy to get here. He should be embarrassed with his security system.

Oh... I am way more fun than that. Time to play a little before Daddy gets here.

"Hehehehe. You are in for quite the treat if I do say so myself honey! I am so excited, I'm shaking! Look!"

While keeping the gun still jammed in his head, I put forward my other hand, shaking it as hard as I can and before Mr. CEO can register, I smack him across the face.

His plump little face flared where I hit him, and he starts whimpering. His eyes grew bigger with panic and I could have sworn I saw a tear there. Who knew that this big, balding, baby billionaire would be terrified of my little 5 feet 2 inches.

"Oh no! Did mommy make the baby cry?! I'm sooooo sorry pumpkin, I promise that when daddy gets here, he will make everything better!"

I tilt my head to the left and smile my sweetest most wicked smile I can muster. I lick my lips and can feel this bright red lipstick smearing. Perfect! That adds to the effect! It makes me want to smile even bigger. Especially since he is going to be here any minute; and a girl doesn't want to disappoint her Puddin'!

I hear the boom and gunshots. They are getting close. The boom was Frosty and the rest of the goons making an exit for our quick getaway telling me the building was cleared.

We were after the company's database, stealing the identity of every investor and customer. Identities are the best thing to steal my Puddin' tells me. We get more than just money that way. We get all the numbers that belong to a person. We also get names, addresses, deeds, the whole nine yards!

But the real fun is with the guards and employees who get in the way. Murder and mayhem can cause a regular adrenaline junkie turn addict. I find that's my favorite part, me taunting them with death or watching their reaction when my very own Mister J walks into the room. That's enough to cause anyone's blood run cold... Except mine of course.

Puddin' sent me in first as a distraction. I am wearing striped overall shorts, a tight white t-shirt underneath with thigh high white high heeled boots. I even have a cute will hat on my head, centered in between my blue and pink pony tails. I charmed, flirted, batted my eyelashes, and smashed some brains to get up to the tippy top floor of Sundwall Co., because I had a special delivery for a Mr. Willis, the CEO. I must admit that it wasn't very hard... boo... A girl likes a little action. Therefore, I decided to go overboard when I finally made it to the office. He was going to get the whole Harley Quinn show.

Another boom and the lights go out, leaving us in the dark. Oh goodie, he is here.

"You hear that?" I ask the smoothest honey voice I can muster as I close in so we are nose to nose.

He really is sweating now and gulping any words that he might have said if he wasn't choking on fear.

I'm expecting a large bang and a loud 'HAHA' signifying his arrival but everything was sinisterly quiet. I can barely hear the guy breathing. I hope he isn't dead or fainted by the time Mister J gets here, that would really put a damper on things.

Hearing the door fly open, Mr. CEO and me whip our heads to the door. There is a tall, lean silhouette leaning on the door frame, laughing his head off.

The minute he enters the room, the lights turn back on and I just take a moment to swoon all over again. Ahhhh there is no one like my Mista J.

"HELLO BABY! My, I see that you started without me! What a good girl you are! HAHAHAHA!" And there is that huge wide grin that makes my heart sore as the heart next to me sinks; knowing that it only has so many beats left.

"Hey Mista J! I got him all warmed up for ya! I even had a little time to play with him! Heheheh!" I jab my gun into the CEO's temple again just to make my point that I had done everything exactly as he instructed me.

"Excellent! Let Daddy take it from here." As he came closer with his own gun drawn, he reminded me of a hyena slowly stalking its prey. Aw, I can't wait to cuddle with Candy tonight.

"Okie dokie! He is all yours." I swing my hips a bit walking up to my green haired prince charming. I put my hands on his purple jacket lapel and just let my hands slide down his body. I feel him shiver just a little bit and his breath slightly turns husky. My hands find themselves on his waist and I push them back up his chest as I stand on my tippy toes to put my mouth to his ear, "Hurry up because I'm feeling extra playful."

And just like that with a peck, a small nip on the lips and a wink, I know this won't take very long. People would love to have you think that I am at the mercy of his every whim or easily discarded, but in all honestly… I have the most feared man in Gotham wrapped around my little finger. No one messes with the Queen of Gotham City.

"Oh yes, sweet cheeks! Daddy promises we won't stay long!" He is still aiming his gun at the CEO, whatever his name is, and his other arm snakes around my waist pulling me tighter to him. What would he do without me?

"Alright Mr…" My Puddin' takes a moment to read the fancy name plate. I let out a giggle.

"Mr. Willis. Now as you heard my beautiful tart – He gives my cheek a nuzzle—we want to be out and gone! But of course, not without a bit of fun first!"

"What do you want?!" Mr. Willis basically shrieks. Gosh, this guy is such a buzz kill.

"Oh my my my, aren't we in a rush huh ?" Puddin' drops his hand from my waist and slowly advances, looming over the chair of the cowering CEO. Mista J leans against the desk, with this gun directly pointed at the man's forehead.

"Now listen to me carefully. I want you to… TURN YOURSELF ABOUT!" Mista J grabs the chair and spins it as hard as he can, and the man holds on for dear life. With a laugh, Puddin' stops the chair, Mr. Willis is so disoriented that his eyeballs are rolling to the back of his skull. Before he can blink, Puddin' has him already tied up with a ball and chain, the ball in his lap.

"I want all the information concerning all your clients. I am out to make some more friends!"

"Well if you wanted that, you don't need to come here because this is just my office. The actual database isn't in here!"

Oh boy, does he really think that we are that dumb? Honestly? And he thinks that he is going to get away?

"Oh, I know that. Actually, I am downloading it right now." Mista J checks his watch. "Actually, it's already been downloaded. HAHAHAHA." Mista J puts his hand to his mouth, displaying the tattooed smile there.

"Then why are you here then?!" Mr. Willis stammers.

"Because, I have to leave a present for the Bat." Before I had a chance to blink Mr. Willis had his brains blown out.

"Come on honey. Give him a smile!" Mista J winks at me. I pull out my favorite shade of lipstick and paint the infamous huge red smile on his big porkily face. I also wrote 'HAHA' on his forehead for good measure. Mista J tucked a nice little flower in the chubby buddy's front breast pocket along with the joker card I had placed earlier on the desk.

Mista J turns to me, strides up, wraps both arms around my waist, and gives my huge lipstick stained mouth a huge kiss. He pulls away and whispers in my ear.

"Well, it looks like our fun here has ended here Baby. Let's go home to some grape soda on ice and the bear skin rug."

I giggle, "Sounds divine Puddin'. It will be a celebration of our victory tonight." I reach up and give him another kiss. He moans and lifts me up so that my legs are wrapped around his waist and he carries me out of the office.

This is better than any bridal style carry over the threshold. Time to get out of there before Batsy gets here… I really craving some grape soda.


End file.
